


Saudade

by thisintermezzo



Category: Tales of the Abyss, Tales of the Rays (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, other characters show up but tagging them feels misleading
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:15:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27503665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisintermezzo/pseuds/thisintermezzo
Summary: Maybe things can be different this time, for everyone.
Relationships: Fon Master Ion & Anise Tatlin, Luke fon Fabre & Anise Tatlin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	Saudade

**Author's Note:**

> These all fit post-Season 2 and between various parts of Season 3 of Tales of the Rays. You'll get more out of this if you're familiar with TotR (a crossover AU mobile game), but I think it's comprehensible even if you're not. Also, I have not written a fanfiction in over a decade, but I needed to do this because ow my heart.

Making Valentine’s chocolate with the other girls turns out to be a lot more fun (and a lot more mess) than making it by herself, and Anise is glad she invited them. Tear is cute and gets flustered easily, Cheria is dedicated to detail, and Mileena gets sidetracked by snooping on everyone else’s designs. They laugh together and make a bunch of little boxes of pretty treats in all kinds of shapes (though hearts, stars, and tiny presents seem to be the presiding favorites). Everyone agrees an assortment looks the nicest, and after they clean up, they spend a long time carefully packing everything with shiny paper and curling ribbons.

“Like professionals!” Cheria says proudly, looking over the final results. “Good work, girls!”

Everyone has color-coded their ribbons for the recipients--purple for Sophie, red for Luke, and so on--and it’s easy to sort them into piles for each girl to take back with her. Despite Jade’s refusal, Anise has made one for him, too, marked with a blue ribbon.

“That should be all of them,” Tear says, looking over their sorted gifts. “...Is this yellow one yours, Anise?” She gestures to a little box with soft pink and white wrap, tied with a bright yellow ribbon.

“O-oh! Yeah.” Anise awkwardly claims her final box, then brightens suddenly. “But I can’t tell you who it’s for~! A girl has to keep her secrets, right?”

The others laugh about this. After all their hours of giggling and sharing gossip, it seems a little silly that Anise would pull that particular card, but they let it go. They have lots of friends here, old and new, and yellow could be for another friend who visits her at work. 

They go their separate ways, their cheer lingering in the air at the closed shop even after they’ve left. It makes the space feel pleasant, even in the silence settling over it. Anise is sure to lock up behind them, checking to make sure everything is fully cleaned up before she leaves herself. It’s been good to have something to keep busy with, and she sincerely appreciates Jade’s tact regarding her situation. She’s glad she made a gift for him.

Anise looks for a long time at her box with the yellow ribbon. Her heart feels heavy, but in a different way than usual, and that’s a start. She leans on the counter, cheek resting on her folded arms. 

“I hope you’d be proud of me, Ion,” she says quietly. “I made this one for me.”

* * *

Anise had thought things had gotten a little better with distraction and distance, but all it takes is hearing that Daath is here and that its overseer is Ion for her to feel like she’s been punched in the stomach. They all know Tir na Nog has been full of surprises, and given all the different angles things have taken, there’s a good chance it’s not even  _ their _ Ion at all, but Anise doesn’t know if that’s better or worse. Would meeting someone who looked just like him but wasn’t him be any less painful than Sync insincerely imitating his voice to mock her?

But she knows it’s him from the moment she sees him--the way he rises, left hand tight on his staff; the way he looks at everyone with a mix of relief and gladness; the way that he smiles at them. This is their Ion. This is her Ion.

It’s so much more painful than she expected it to be, a tangle of happiness and sadness and all of the hurt that she’s been suppressing since he died. She doesn’t deserve to see him again, let alone talk to him, and the time Luke buys her by speaking first is a small kindness he’s not aware of. Anise can’t breathe, and by the time Ion does turn his attention to her, his face as kind and open as the last moment she saw him, tears are already running down her face. She doesn’t try to stop them. 

* * *

Libera.

Now that they’ve gotten him back to the base and restored him, things have begun to settle down again, and Anise can feel herself beginning to relax, if apprehensively. Libera gives her a whole new set of worries, since they have no idea what he was like before he was utilized as a living doll and have no idea what he’ll be like once he’s awake as his real self. She anxiously hopes he’s not too badly affected by what he’s been through. 

Having been freshly replicated from his exoflected original, he looks a little younger than Sync and Ion--probably closer to twelve, she thinks. This checks out when they consider the fact that an exoflected Original Ion needs to have come from a point in time before his death, which was sometime after turning twelve. That means Libera really is her Ion’s little brother, in the truest possible sense of the word. She’s glad to have been trusted to help him.

As with all the other recently-salvaged living doll victims, Libera remains asleep, a deep, untroubled sleep that gives Anise some hope that he’ll be alright when he eventually wakes up. She knows Jude and Annie will take good care of him in the meantime when she isn’t able to stay close by, but being able to fret over him just a little takes her mind off Ion venturing to the Imperial Capital without her, and she desperately needs that. (She wonders in passing if Sync is having trouble processing all of this, too. On top of everything else, wasn’t he exoflected from after he attempted to die?)

A knock startles her, and Anise turns to find Luke carefully closing the door behind him. 

“How’s he doing? Any better?”

“Still the same,” she sighs, hands resting on her knees, Tokunaga nestled in her lap. 

Luke pulls up a nearby chair and sits down next to her. The chairs don’t match and he ends up sitting lower than her, which feels strange. “...Are you here because you’re worried about Ion?”

Anise feels herself blanche a little. She moves her gaze quickly to Libera’s sleeping face to avoid making eye contact. “Obviously I’m here because I’m worried about Libera, dummy! I’m sure he’ll be better soon, but… you know…”

“Yeah… It’s been hard for everybody whose friends got turned into living dolls.” Luke rests his chin in his hand and they sit quietly for a few minutes. There’s an unspoken awkwardness in the presence of this additional replica, who is their de facto friend and yet who they’ve never actually spoken to. “It’s been weird here.”

“Tell me about it,” Anise mumbles.

They’ve all been worried since Ion suddenly appeared and just as suddenly agreed to leave for the Capital to keep working on the mission entrusted to him by Harold. With no reliable way of getting in touch, all their group can do is hope all is well until he returns or contacts them himself, but it’s dangerous out there. How can they really be sure that Ion’s strength--improved though it seems to be here in Tir na Nog--is enough to protect him from whatever trouble he might get himself into? Luke can see Anise’s tension in the way she curls her fingers into her doll. 

“Are you doing okay?” Luke asks. 

“I’m great~!” Anise may be even better than Jade at hiding how she feels, but the sudden heel turn belies her worry and fear. “Taking care of things here and at the shop, meeting all these new people, working with all of you guys again--it’s all really good! Nostalgic, kind of.”

“...like Ion said, right?” 

She freezes again, and Luke can see clearly the way the pain of losing him is no less deep than it was before seeing him again. It hasn’t been all that long and already she’s had to cope with his death and the emptiness it left behind. Now Ion has come back to them only to disappear immediately into the heart of trouble. She’s afraid, because losing him a second time would almost certainly be too much to bear.

“He’s going to come back in one piece, Anise,” Luke says with conviction, then glances around to make sure he wasn’t too loud so he doesn’t get scolded. He lowers his voice, to be safe. “And when he does, we’ll all be here, together.”

Anise swallows the lump in her throat and lets the threat of tears fade. She’s gotten good at it.

She takes a breath. “Yeah… We will.”

* * *

Losing Ion felt like a horrible dream, and arriving in Tir na Nog felt like a different dream altogether. It’s still hard to know whether she’s grateful or sorry for the distance it gave her from the Order of Lorelei and her family. But now Ion is here, too--a dream Anise keeps expecting to wake up from, but somehow hasn’t yet.

Just as Luke said, Ion returns to them from the Capital, not too worse for wear. And just like that, he accepts her, warm and kind like he always is, and some of the layers of grief softly melt away.

In the few days that follow, Anise sometimes still wakes in the night and can feel her chest tight with the pain of losing him, but she only has to look over to see that he’s safe and sound. The relief she feels each time is overwhelming. She’s been given another chance, and she’s going to do better and keep him safe this time. Tonight, she silently wakes and finds that she’s mostly alone, and she has to remind herself it’s for reasons besides disaster. It’s not unusual for everyone to go to bed at different times. 

“Can’t sleep, Anise?” Guy is up and about in the darkness of the large room, rummaging through his inventory for something to tinker with. He’s perceptive… or at least, always the most willing to say something when he realizes she’s awake, as he’s one of the few who ever does.

“I know I  _ should _ , but too much is happening for me to sleep,” Anise says frustratedly without making a move to get up. “I’m all fidgety!”

“Well, you’re not the only one,” the young man says good-naturedly. “I’ve had some trouble, too. I think I’m heading to bed soon, but Ion is still up.” He nods in the direction of the hall. “I think he was downstairs talking with Jade about Harold.”

The girl silently sits up and scoots out of bed, attaching Tokunaga to her shoulders out of habit as she heads for the door. Guy smiles, but she pretends not to notice.

The main meeting room is the largest space in the base, but it also happens to look like a bar--an ironic choice for their purposes, considering so many of the people they’re working with are too young to actually drink alcohol in the first place.

Guy was right, and Ion and Jade are seated alone at one of the round tables. Ion has a teacup Anise knows is full of chamomile. Jade appears to have the remains of a mixed drink, and he’s absently swirling the ice cubes around in the bottom of it. 

Ion notices her before she can say anything to announce her arrival. “Anise! I didn’t realize you were up.” He beckons to her gladly, although she was already headed his way. “Would you sit with us for a few minutes? Jade and I were just talking about Lorelei.” 

Jade takes the final swig from his glass and sets it down on the table, catching Anise’s eye. He throws his hands up as though caught. 

“Ah, you’ll have to count me out. I’m afraid it’s time for the elderly to get some rest.” He pushes his chair back from the table. “Fon Master, I’m sure you’re able to help Anise catch up on matters concerning the seventh fonon without me.” 

Ion smiles in bemusement at his companion’s special brand of antics. “I’ll certainly do my best. You don’t want to stay?”

“Yeah, Colonel!” Anises says. “You’re just gonna run off because I’m too cute to handle?”

The man pushes up his glasses and gets up from the table, empty glass in hand. “I’m doing nothing of the sort,” he says, smiling in his usual unreadable way. “We can talk more in the morning, children~”

“Ugh, fine! Just go to bed already!” Anise makes a shooing gesture and Jade smiles a little more sincerely before leaving. 

Ion takes a long sip of tea, putting his cup down once Jade is gone and Anise has taken up his place at the table. Anise is a little embarrassed by how badly she just wants to keep looking at him, as though taking her eyes away will make him disappear again. Much to her relief, he seems to have fully recovered since arriving at the base. Thanks to Harold’s interference, he doesn’t seem anywhere near as badly affected by use of Daathic artes, which is a blessing, even if it means Ion is now more inclined to put himself in harm’s way than she’d like. 

“I’m glad you’re okay,” Anise says quietly. He came back mostly unscathed, except for the part where Ratatosk and company had to carry him back unconscious. She wasn’t around when it happened, but she’d heard about that part from Jude. “You going off without us like that was really scary.”

The boy’s expression softens. “I’m sorry if I worried you, Anise. It may have appeared to be a quick decision, but it seems to have more or less worked out as Harold and I planned. I have some regrets regarding Regal, but…”

“Hey, Richter came back in one piece, and that’s good, too. And you’ve been using all your Fon Master powers to help everybody! That’s really exciting!”

Ion laughs mildly. “Well, it’s good to be able to help like this. I still need to be careful, though, so I’m glad you’re willing to help me again. Thank you.”

“Of course~!” Anise rests her chin in her hands as cutely as possible and smiles. “I’d protect you even if you got as strong as Barbatos!”

Ion laughs again, more earnestly this time, and it makes Anise’s heart happy. “I don’t think there’s any danger of that happening. But it’s good to be able to hold my own, at least some of the time.”

“Yeah! It was Harold that figured all this out, right? With Lorelei and stuff?” 

“That’s right.” He takes another sip of tea. “She’s very remarkable. I would never have thought Lorelei could be used for something like this, even here, and hearing its voice sometimes is certainly not a drawback.”

“Does it… talk much?”

The boy tilts his head. “Lorelei? No, not usually, but I’ve also been fortunate in that its speech doesn’t seem to affect me negatively in the same way it does Luke.”

“That’s good.” Anise lets herself settle in her chair a bit better. “Getting to fight alongside everybody in exchange for random splitting headaches wouldn’t sound like a very good deal to me.”

“Still, I think I probably would have chosen to do it, even if that were the case.” Ion finishes his tea thoughtfully, then moves it aside. His eyes meet Anise’s from across the table, and she can see that he’s determined. “I want to be able to do what I can to help here.”

He pauses to smile kindly at the concern Anise knows must show on her face. “But don’t worry--I’ll be careful of my own limits.”

“You’d better!” Anise says in feigned irritation. Everything about this feels so normal and good and safe that she suddenly feels her eyes sting with involuntary tears again, and she rushes to scrub them away before she can cry for real. Twice was enough. 

“I know I already said it, but I’m so glad to see you, and that you came back safe. If… if you need to go anywhere else that’s dangerous, I’m coming with you, okay? I’m going to do my job and protect you this time.”

“Anise…”

“I’m fine.” Her voice breaks a little from the effort of not crying. She sniffs, but is too embarrassed to look at him. Ion reaches across the table to put his hand on hers.

“It must have been hard on you,” Ion says. “I’m sorry.” 

Anise knows he means it in part for something she’s not ready to talk about yet, and thinking about it makes her shiver. 

Ion gently squeezes her fingers for a moment before withdrawing. “Should we follow Jade’s lead and turn in for the night?”

The girl shakes her head, recomposing herself. “Not yet. I still want to hear about Lorelei.” Anise allows herself to reset again, back to her usual demeanor and usual smile, and it’s the most honest and effortless it’s been in a long time. “If it’s okay, can we just sit up and talk for a while?”

He smiles again, just a little. “I would like that.”

* * *

Things are able to go back to normal for a little while--as normal as they ever get in Tir na Nog--and Ion spends some of his time with Anise, watching over Libera. Despite their diligent vigil, they’re both convinced he isn’t going to wake up until sometime when they’re not actually present, which is both funny and frustrating. They’ve made joking bets to this effect. 

“It’s very strange to be in this position,” Ion muses quietly as they sit together next to the sleeping boy. “I’ve never met him, but I still think of him as a little brother. I suppose a part of me really hopes that things will be different with him than with Sync.”

“Sync!” Anise perks up at the name, a reminder of information she had forgotten to convey in the wake of Ion’s safe return. “That reminds me! When Kor did that… heart thing… I think he called it a spiria nexus? Anyway, when he did that to help Libera, Jade and I went with him.”

“Is that so?” Ion looks interested, though obviously doesn’t see what this has to do with Sync besides pertaining to another Fon Master replica. “Did you find something there?”

“Well, kind of. It was a mess, like Kor thought it would be. That living doll stuff is really horrible.” 

A sad frustration ripples up inside her, and she scoots her chair a little closer to Ion’s so that the side of her leg is touching his. Being near him and knowing he’s okay is reassuring. She’s glad it wasn’t her Ion that was turned into a living doll, but she still hates that it has to happen to anyone, even that she doesn’t know. “But the weird thing wasn’t even the spiria nexus. Sync came with us.”

A complicated expression crosses Ion’s face--sad and hopeful and confused--but he seems to try to push it away. “Was he asked to?”

“No! He just… volunteered to come. I think he wanted to know more about the Tir na Nog replica stuff, too. He was a little nasty about it, but we were kind of mean first, so it probably didn’t help.” 

Anise guiltily squishes Tokunaga against her body for a moment. It seems petty of them in hindsight, and the last thing she wants is to court Ion’s scorn. They could have handled themselves better. 

Ion smiles a little at her admission. “Somehow I’m not surprised to hear that you had trouble biting your tongue. He seems to inspire some bad feelings in all of us somehow or another. I would have expected a bit better of Jade, though.”

“Booo. I can’t believe you have more faith in the colonel than me!”

“I didn’t say that,” Ion says kindly. “Everyone’s relationship with Sync is just… a little complicated.”

“At least he’s not trying to kill us anymore.” She pauses. “For now.”

Ion sighs. His staff is laying across his lap, and he rolls it between his fingertips in silence for a moment, watching Libera’s sleeping face thoughtfully. “I think I should go and talk to him.”

Anise tries not to jump up out of her chair in exasperation. “Ion, seriously?! He was already such a big jerk about being friends. Even here, he didn’t exactly make it sound like he wanted to meet with you… He always calls you  _ Fon Master _ in that super condescending voice.”

“I know; he doesn’t exactly have much reason to like me. But things can be different here, I think. We just need to let them.”

“I guess…” They sink back into silence, and Anise hesitantly rests her head against her friend’s shoulder. It still doesn’t feel like something she should be allowed to do, but she’s grateful for it all the same. He rests his head against hers for a moment in turn. 

“He apparently has friends now, so that’s new,” Anise adds finally.

She feels Ion’s surprised shift. “He does?”

“Just that Mithos kid--at least, that I know of. I mean,  _ Sync _ never said they were friends or anything, but when Mithos decided to take him along to the Great Tree, he said that was why he picked him.”

“I see... Still, I’m glad you told me about this. Thank you, Anise.” The whole prospect of it seems to have made him happy somehow, and so she can’t find it in herself to be dismayed with him for being overly optimistic. Sync isn’t quite acid enough to burn through Ion’s determination. 

“So you’re going to go talk to him, even if we think it’s a bad idea?”

Ion laughs. “Of course,” he says, his voice level and certain. “I have to try.”


End file.
